Usually I live in a fairly optimistic way, I’m very grateful for my children and always realise things could be much worse. Occasionally something happens which feels like a slap in the face by one of their conditions.

It’s normally the pica or ASD that does it. Today it was both with the EDS thrown in too.

On our way home from school today the kids asked to go up the next road to ours and down a set of concrete steps behind our house.

First set of steps was okay. I held Lana’s hand, Joseph stumbled his way down, Lola clung to the handrail like her life depended on it and Gabe jumped down whilst I yelled for him to slow down.
The next flight had no handrail. Uh-oh. Lola can’t do stairs without holding onto something yet, even though she’s 6.


I only had one hand free because of their school bags and Lana is still wobbly on stairs. Joseph’s not steady enough to support Lola and he’d let Lana go.


I had to take Lana down the steps, ask Joseph to hold onto her, run back up for Lola, all the while watching Joseph didn’t eat anything and constantly reminding him to keep hold of Lana.


Hang on, where’s Gabe? Mr Stuntman had seized his opportunity of mummy being distracted and was balancing on the edge of a six foot wall. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

Right, we can do this. Just one set of steps left. GABE GET DOWN!!
And Joseph was distracted. He let go of Lana and she was now running down a slight hill towards the final steps. Lola still had two steps to go. If I left her she’d cry or fall. Or both. If I didn’t run then Lana could fall down the steps.

I decided to do what I do best. I yelled. At the top of my voice and prayed that it would work.


She stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief. Told Joseph to grab her whilst I gently hurried Lola down the hill to join them. Phew.

By this point Gabe was down all the steps and running towards our house. GABE! WAIT FOR MUMMY, PLEASE!

NO! I’M THE WINNER!! Dammit.

Right quick. Last lot of steps then we’re home. These steps are steeper than the others. And they don’t have a handrail either. Eurgh.


Okay, give the school bags to Joseph to hold whilst I get the girls down. One hand in each of mine and off we go. Only Joseph has decided he’s going to attempt coming down too. For those who don’t know, Joseph has hypermobility, weak hips, inturned feet and is incredibly clumsy. Nooooo, wait there!


Right, girls are at the bottom, back up for Joseph. Gabe is now at the side of our house, running along raised cobbles whilst whooping at the top of his voice, heading for the front door.

Hang on. If I let go of Lana now she’s going to leg it after Gabe in their never ending battle to out do each other and ‘be the winner’. Our house is the end of a quiet cul de sac but still, cars do come down here quite quickly.

I pick Lana up and carry her back up the steps, which she protests loudly to. Grab the bags from Joseph and turn to come back down with him behind me.

At the bottom, put Lana down. Hold Lola’s hand to the front door whilst checking Joseph is still with me and trying to hurry because the Tag Team Twins are now out of sight.

And we’re home! In the door and I made it. No one fell, no one cried and no one got lost. Win win.

It took us much longer than most people, I now feel like Rocky after running up and down the stairs and I’m in desperate need of wine but we made it.

And those slaps don’t feel too bad any more. They have their problems but we’re doing it. We’re slowly making it every day.

And I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.


About apparentlymad

Full time Mummy to 4 lively little monsters, Joseph, Lola, Gabriel and Lana
This entry was posted in November 15 and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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