About being a parent for me personally isn’t the constant arguing with my 4 year old, the tantrums from my 2 year old or the overall stress and worry that comes from having children.
It’s two Saturdays in every month, having to hand my eldest two over to their Dad.
I know it’s only two weekends a month and yes it’s only for one, maybe two, nights but I really struggle having to do it. It’s not that I don’t trust him with them, if I didn’t they wouldn’t be going at all. And it’s not that they don’t enjoy themselves, they love being at Daddy’s house and sometimes I fear they’d rather be there than with me. It’s the pain I feel at having to give them to someone else. I find it hard enough leaving them with a babysitter for a few hours whilst Luke and I escape to be a couple again. I just hate the fact that they’re not with me.
What if something happens to them and I wasn’t there to prevent it? Or they fall ill and I’m not there to hold them close and tell them it’s ok. I realise it’s very selfish of me to feel this way but if you can’t be selfish when you’re a parent, when can you be?
So every other Saturday I kiss them goodbye, hand them to their father and resist the urge to run after them screaming ‘They’re mine, give them back!’ whilst I cling to them and sob uncontrollably into their hair.
Instead I stand on the platform watching them leave, their faces bright with happiness as they’re reunited with their beloved Dad. I wave, smile and will myself to walk away without crying then wish away the hours until they’re back with me. Back where they belong.
English weather. We all know how unpredicable it can be and rainy days are always hard work for us. If we stay in then we have to contend with boredom, the arguements over who’s watching what on the tv, the fights over favourite toys and the inevitable ‘Can we go to the park, Mum? But it’s only raining a little bit.’ I’m all for a walk in the rain but you can guarentee we’ll get halfway down the road and someone will start complaining that they’re wet or cold. Or both.
If we do decide to venture out we are then faced with the impossible decision of where to go. We are surrounded by parks, farms, nature reserves and zoos but these are hardly suitable when it seems like we are in the middle of a monsoon. So then it’s a choice between softplay, a handful of museums, the cinema or dragging the children, kicking and screaming, round the shops. Hell.
The school holidays are the worst. The softplays are packed to bursting with loud, hyperactive children, running around like they’re being chased by the Devil himself. This is not fun with a very unbalanced 2 year old and an equally crazy 4 year old. So this is quickly crossed off our list.
The cinema. Not too bad, especially with the children’s clubs. However what to do with a fidgety 4 month old? This too is soon declared a no go.
The museums we have local to us seem like fairly interesting, well set out places with plenty to occupy and broaden your mind. If you’re 40. Our 3 don’t care much for Art, Romans or life in Lancashire. Which leaves the shops. Not a chance.
So Luke and I sit for several hours, passing ideas between the 2 of us only to draw the same conclusion everytime. There is nothing to do on a rainy day.
And we resort to our fail safe plan. A DVD from Blockbusters and a bowl of popcorn. The popcorn keeps them quiet for at least an hour whilst we lounge on the sofa, ever the neglectful parents.
So on Sunday night I managed to give us food poisoning. Fail.
We ate tea at 6pm, put the children to bed and I had a bath whilst Luke played his Xbox. Come 10pm and we both felt sick. We went to bed but neither of us could sleep and that’s when it hit us. We were both up most of the night being ill and spent yesterday feeling sick and weak. Today we are much better thankfully and I never want to experience that again.
I’m still feeling rather guilty but I guess these things happen.
To us, the Jarvis/Bellairs/Hughes household.
Luke is our rock. The main man in our crazy house. He sorts the bills, the house, the DIY, basically everything apart from the shopping! (But let’s face it, us women do that best anyway) He works very hard as Head Chef at the Blue Pig coffee house in Lytham near Blackpool. He makes the most amazing food, particularly his cakes and desserts.
I have no idea what I would do without him and I pray everyday that I never have to find out.
Joseph is our special little boy. He’s just turned 4 and is rather hard work when he wants to be. I suspect he is a genius and there is an awful lot going on in that large head of his. He starts full time primary school in September and I just know he will flourish and do well. He struggles with certain aspects of Life however he is a very bright little boy in his own ways. He has the loudest scream known to man and talks so much he could be used as a form of torture.
Lola is our little Princess. She is stubborn, independant and downright moody sometimes but we wouldn’t change her. Well maybe just a little. She is a definite Mummy’s girl and can usually be found attached to me. I’m actually considering taking out a restraining order against her just so I can have a wee in peace! She loves all things pink and girly especially shoes and I think we are going to have to great Mummy/Daughter times together as she grows.
Gabriel is our little ray of sunshine. His smile could melt the coldest heart and he very rarely complains about anything. His special talent is sleeping! He sleeps 14 hours a night and roughly 3 hours a day, sometimes more. I’m just praying he continues! He is his Daddy’s double and I hope this continues in his personality as he grows.
He has a CMPI (Cow’s Milk Protein Intolerance) and reflux and the first 15 weeks of his life were hard work but now we have a diagnosis and the correct medication and he is thriving. I’m looking forward to watching him grow.
And then there is me, Mummy. I’m hard work, occasionally grumpy and I have a very short temper but I will do anything for my family.
We are by no means perfect and I’m sure there is plenty we are doing wrong on our long road of parenting but we are doing what we think is right and bringing up our beautiful children to the best of our ability. Some might not agree with our thoughts, ideas and beliefs but we know we are helping our children be the best people possible and if they grow up looking back lovingly on their childhood as happy, well rounded adults then we know we did a great job.
So I thought I would start a blog then I can write about the ups and downs of having three young children. I’m still trying to get to grips with WordPress but hopefully this will be the start of somewhere for me to blog properly.